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Fishing for Your Wonderful Authentic Goals - WAGs

Choose what most nourishes the heart

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​1.  Once you’ve met the basic condition of self-care, there are several strategies you might use to lure your Wonderful Authentic Goals, WAGs, out of hiding. One is to take a pencil in your dominant hand (right for right- handers, left for lefties) and write down a few pointed questions, such as “What are you feeling?” “What do you need?” and “What do you want?” As soon as you’ve finished writing a question, switch the pencil to your other hand and write whatever words bubble up. You may be surprised. When your problem-solving mind is fully engaged, trying to master the task of writing with the “wrong” hand, hidden aspects of the self often surface.

2.  If you think more visually than verbally, you may want to try another exercise: time travel. Take a few quiet minutes, relax in a comfortable place, close your eyes, and imagine that the date has changed. It’s the same day of the same month, but the year is 2014, 2015, 2020, etc. Figure out how old you are in the year you’ve chosen. How old is your best friend? Your children? Your spouse? Let yourself inhabit this time. Now with your eyes still closed, simply describe your circumstances. Where are you? What are you wearing? What is the weather like? Now describe your life. What is most important to you on this date? What projects occupy you? Who hangs out with you? Try to simply observe rather than make things up. If no images appear, don’t worry. Your WAGs are still hiding, but you’ve called them and they are listening. They may show up after you’ve finished the exercise, when you’re brushing your teeth or making your bed.

3.  A third WAG-baiting exercise also involves time travel, but for this one you don’t project yourself into the future. Instead your future self comes back to visit you. Imagine meeting a wise, happy person who just happens to be your best self ten years from now. Ask this person for advice. If you’re facing a problem, ask your mentor how she got through it ten years back. Ask her what mistakes you’re making and how you might correct them. As with the previous exercise, you may initially get no answer. Nevertheless, your true self, that wise being who exists outside of time, has registered the questions. The answers will come.

 

4. Write down all the goals you would like to achieve for yourself. Write each one on a separate piece of paper or on a new page on your word processor. Then after each goal write the reactions you have about it. Give yourself time to allow the reactions to come to your awareness. Some might be supportive of your goal and some might be against it.

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Then review what you have written and you will have a fuller awareness of how the various parts of you feel about each goal. Now make a decision about each goal if you want to, but remember to hold onto the opposite viewpoints. Don't push these away, but take them on the journey with you, just as you would take a toddler to a supermarket even though she would prefer to go to the park!

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If you're not sure about what to do, then wait. Just sit with the problem. Maybe you need more information, maybe you just need more time to become aware   of what feels best for you. Enjoy the process.

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